The Greif that can't be spoken
Posted on Mon Mar 1, 2021 @ 8:18pm by Captain Maritza Soran & Civilian 'Arrival' Geral Lasuma & Civilian Dorian Torel & Civilian Sha'rae Astare
1,516 words; about a 8 minute read
Mission:
Si vis pacem, para bellum
Location: Soran's Quarters, Lasuma Enterprises slip. Deck 1009
Timeline: MD 3 2359
Previously in
Geral's wanderings around his new yacht continued for a while, and for all the amenities and all it's bells and whistles, something was missing. Eventually he found his way to the upper most level he circled the bridge. He looked out the windows and the length of his new ship and the massive bay he had acquired. Taking a seat in one of the chairs he examined the console as he finished his cider.
After draining the bottle he rose, returning to the balcony looking over the atrium only to stop stunned at what he saw on the deck below him.
And now the conclusion
There had been so much to do. Maritza had gone through the actions in a daze, packing a few essential things into a small bag. She'd replicate anything else she needed. She'd prepared the orders transferring temporary command to Ryan until after the funeral. She'd hand them over in the morning as she left. She'd spoken to Ahjin, promised him she wouldn't be far behind their mother. She'd informed Starfleet command. She'd told T'lul she wouldn't be continuing their sessions remotely. She'd -
She'd held her father's hand as he died.
Standing in the center of her quarters, padd of paperwork in hand, her breath heaved, and she clenched her jaws against the threatening flood.
She'd assumed they'd have years. Years of despairing at each other, bonds dissolving until the only thing between them was DNA. Another heaving breath racked her ribs.
This wouldn't do. She had to do something else. Sleep. It would all feel better in the morning. On autopilot she shucked her uniform, and replicated a night gown. She cleaned her teeth and unbound her hair, brushing out the hip length blonde locks so they fell forward over her face, over the pale pale spots that she'd got from her father. Her hands started to shake and she let the brush fall to the floor.
She couldn't look herself in the eye and hurried out of the bathroom and back to her bed chamber. But Maritza couldn't bring herself to lie down. She perched on the side, the satin of her night gown sliding over her coverlet.
She could have done something. She should have put more effort into finding Hex, never mind the consequences to herself. If she'd done her duty, her father would still be alive. And she felt numb. She could feel the tears and sobs trapped inside and nothing else.
The clock ticked on, but she couldn't settle, not on the bed, not the sofa, the walls felt too close, too judgmental. She had to get away. Pulling a shawl around her her long night gown, she left her quarters, leaving her comm badge behind. She just wanted to be alone.
She avoided the arboretum. The giant park would be closed by now anyway, and swathed in darkness. And even at this hour there would still be too many people in the small plaza the bottom of the promenade. There were sections of tis station that apparently never slept.
The Turbo lift kept going down, down. She was in the lower docking level, smaller near permanent births for long term residents. Her feet knew the way, even though she wasn't thinking about it.
Her feet knew where safe harbour was, and they unerringly brought her to Geralt's slip. The new ship was there, resplendent, shining, sleek. The doors were locked, and she touched the intercom. She knew it was late, but she hoped at least someone might be awake. She knew it wasn't fair of her to wake Geral, not after they had barely spoken in months. But she had no where else to go.
An unseen angel opened the doors without question, saving her the need to have to say anything aloud. That same angel had lowered a gang plank to the main deck, and she walked up it almost in a daze. The cold metal chilled her bare feet, but it didn't even register, couldn't cut through the accusing voices in her head.
Her heart found him, made her look up, to see the Bajoran leaning on the rail. Words failed her completely. there was nothing she could say, there was too much to say, too much to sort through. The tsunami was heald at bay by a thread made of silence and forlorn hope.
Sha'rea deactivated her monitor after having allowing Maritza aboard. Walking over to her mirror smiling before returning to bed.
Gerald stared down at her, swallowing hard. He wanted run down the stairs but he walked, though faster than normal, to her. Standing before her he reached up touching he cheek.
She pressed against his hand for a moment, and then she closed the last remaining distance and buried her face against his chest, the tears falling freely. "It killed him. And its my fault."
He knew what she was talking about; even without his contacts word had spread quickly about her father's death. Wrapping his arms around her he held her tight. The smell of her hair, her warmth but her sobbing brought him back to her blaming herself for her father's death. "Sshhhhh...It's not your fault", stroking her hair.
"I should have let them scan the Trill. I should have done it weeks ago, before he even got here."
He lifted her face, holding her soft wet cheeks in his hands. "You can't anticipate everything. Even if you made a decision that in hindsight may have led to one event or another...their was no way for you, your father, or any one else to know what was going to happen. It's not your fault."
She shuddered under his hands, silent misery shaking her body. "I'm sorry, " she said at last. "About everything." Her fingers twisted in his shirt, holding on to him as if she was going to be swept away by great waves at any moment.
He held her tight and closed his eyes, again taking a deep breath as she going to him. "That wasn't your fault either...though your digging dig cause a wrinkle or two, but that's been smoothed over. Perhaps together we can get more than a bar out of that old Yridian?". He added with a chuckle.
A little of the tension went out of her, though she didn't laugh. "I'll be going home tomorrow. Mother left this afternoon. I have to do handover tomorrow." Another sigh. "Can I stay here tonight?"
Parting just enough to look down at her. "My ship is yours and you can stay here anytime you want. And if you'll let me I will take you home myself so I too can pay my respects to your family."
She didn't have words, just a plaintive, thankful squeeze, holding herself to him, "I'd like that," she said eventually. "To go with you. I... I don't want to be alone."
It was late and he could show her around during the trip. In the meantime he had her back and all was right once again. He would help get her over this hurdle then...then who knows. He walked her from the atrium to the entrance to the master suite to get her some sleep.
She walked in a daze, unseeing the opulent décor around her, far more comforted by his solidness and warmth, realness in her nightmare
Pulling back the covers and sheets he waited for her to lay down so he could tuck her in.
She let her wrap lie where it fell as she crawled across the bed. She curled into a ball, "Are you not coming?"
He pulled the sheets up and kissed her forehead. "I'll be right back. Just going to let the flight crew know we need to schedule her maiden voyage for tomorrow. Will 10am be good?"
"Yes." her reply was monotone. "Don't be long."
It didn't take long to brief the pilot, notify Sha'rae and Dorian to be ready. Dorian even asked if he could bring a guest and Geral's arched brow would have put a vulcan to shame. He knew who his guest was going to be but he shot down the request. "Sorry, not this time. This trip isn't a pleasure cruise."
Returning to his suite he lay down on the bed and spooned up behind her, draping his arm over her.
She huddled against him, soaking in his presence. It took a while, but eventually her breathing evened out, exhaustion an desolation managed to take over and she fell asleep against him.
Geral had remained awake until she had drifted off. His thumb gently stroked her arm and eventually he too nodded off. With her next to him once again his dreams were of their trip to Trill together and relaxing trip back. Seeing her smile and laugh as they did whatever and went wherever they wanted...
He was shaken from from his dream roughly. "SIR!! WAKE UP!!!"
Geral Lasuma
Owner of Lasuma Enterprises
Captain Maritza Soran
CO
Deep Space Five
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