Rivers of Egypt (Part IV)
Posted on Wed Sep 9, 2020 @ 3:20am by Captain Maritza Soran & Lieutenant T'Lul
1,922 words; about a 10 minute read
Mission:
Et In Arcadia Ego
Location: DS5 Counseling Suite
Timeline: MD07 1345
Previously in
Another counselor might have laughed but T'Lul was a Vulcan. She did not allow emotions to surface. "So, you did not like feeling happy or euphoric? All of your degrees and studies have absolutely nothing to do with emotions, Captain. It is quite healthy to have your head turned by a tight ass and a muscular body. It is part of the biological imperative. But I am slightly curious about one thing you just mentioned. You said that you were accepted for a symbiont. However, you do not have one. Why?"
A nasty smile came over Maritza's face. "Because the slugs are a bane on trill society and we need to stop worshiping them and leave them in their pools."
And now the conclusion
"Then why did you apply to be in the program?" T'Lul countered. Was the Captain found to be unfit to be a host?
Maritza looked down at her hands and let out a breath. "My brother, Ahjin. He is...everything I'm not. He's warm, and kind, and affectionate, and sweet. He's a dreamer. Even when we were young. And when he was fifteen he and my father had a massive row because Ahjin didn't want a symbiote. He wasn't interested in it, he was happy as he was. And after that my father just... stopped caring. Ahjin didn't count anymore. And it became obvious that my Dad thought that the only way you were a worthy whole person was if you were joined. And I hated how he treated my brother. Hated it.
"And I looked around and realised that joining was horrible. We'd structured everything around getting one of those worms. We took our brightest and our best, and made them feel inadequate, regardless of their achievements, over the tiniest flaw. And I saw how it was wrong. Its holding Trill back. And I wanted to get back at my father for being so awful to my big brother.
"But I knew if I couldn't get joined, anything I said would just be dismissed as sour grapes. So I went for it wholeheartedly. My father was so happy with me. I was his perfect little girl. And all the time I was choosing what to learn, and practicing what to say to make sure I got into the joining program, and I fooled them all. I had my field docent wrapped around my little finger. I was one of the quickest and youngest applicants to ever be approved, and when they set a day for surgery, I knew I'd won..
"They hadn't got a clue how I really felt. And on the day I was supposed to be joined, I stood on the steps of the symbiosis committee with a pa system and decried the whole lot of them, told them where they could put their slugs and called for revolution."
Maritza smiled at the memory. A real smile. It was the thing she was proudest of. "My father was furious. Influential senator's daughter tears centuries of tradition a new one and rejects society's greatest honor as elitist to the point of lunacy. I think I cost him his seat at the next election." And didn't that feel good.
T'Lul took in the story, her thoughts formulating as she listened. "You have a nice smile when you choose to use it, Captain," T'Lul started. "And while I respect your views, why did you feel that the best way to address your father's rejection of your brother was to take out your anger on the entire Trill society? Would it be correct to assume that your father speaks to neither of you, now?"
"Not without dire need. He acknowledged I survived the Kzinti War. He congratulated Ahjin on his engagement. But Mother made him do it." Maritza shrugged. She hadn't just burnt that bridge, she'd pulled down the carcass and ploughed and salted the remains.
The Counselor made a mental note that she would have to tread carefully, as she already was likely on the Captain's bad side. The Captain certainly seemed to have no intermediate grounds. With her, it was all or nothing. Her approach to life was scorching the earth with her rage. "How do you know that your mother made him congratulate Ahjin? Do you believe the same is true when you survived the Kzinti War? Perhaps you should tell me about your mother, as well."
"She's an architect. Mostly large buildings, civic libraries, meeting halls, records offices, that sort of thing. She did the new atrium for the Memory Alpha visitor complex ten years ago, but she usually sticks to Trill. I don't know what to say. She was always there growing up, but she never challenged my father when he and Ahjin fought. She'd always try and get them to talk, but she never told dad he was wrong."
"Then how could she convince him to congratulate Ahjin or check on you?" T'Lul wondered aloud.
"I don't know. I'm not privy to their conversations. But Dad has never apologized to Ahjin. I'd be the first to know if he did. So whatever she does, it isn't enough."
"So, you are functioning on presumption, rather than fact," T'Lul observed.
"I know my family well enough. I've watched them, I know what they're like. She'll plead, and he'll agree to get her to be quiet. Like she does with me to come home and visit."
"When was the last time that you went home?"
Maritza had to think about it. "After the D'ama." After the Kzinti, being surrounded by Klingons felt safer, but with the end of the war, the attempt at a dual crew had come to an end, and the Starfleet Personnel had been sent back to the federation.
"That's a long time." T'Lul considered the Captain's situation and debated where she would even start with this damaged woman. She had given her orders so far to start trying to get Maritza in touch with her feelings. She also had given her orders to spend some time with herself and get some sleep. Piling more on her at this time would not be wise. It would be best to gather more information to find more cracks to assist her. "I now know about your family. Tell me about your friends."
Maritza opened her mouth to reply and stopped. Friend was a strong word. Did anyone really meet up to the standard? She was difficult to get to know, she knew that, and was far too reserved and too much of a stickler to make friends easily. "Ambassador Charghwl'IH and his wife Xae'dell. We were on the D'ama together. He saved my life in the Kzinti war."
"I see," replied T'Lul with a sage nod. "Any others?"
Maritza looked at the walls, the view out to the stars, anything but at the Vulcan in front of her. "Making friends doesn't come easily."
More avoidance. She wants to keep the entire universe away from her. "Well, that is something that we shall have to work on, won't we, Captain?" Without waiting for an answer T'Lul continued, "Of course, with your six free hours a day, now, that should give you time to work on that, as well. Let me take a look at your calendar for the rest of today and this week...."
"Do you have a padd?" Soran was too wrung out from just this conversation to fight back.
"Of course," T'Lul reached into a corner of her desk and pulled one out and handed it politely to the Captain, who pulled up her appointments and handed it back.
The diary was crammed. Every moment from eight am to eight pm was scheduled. Just the rest of this day was meetings, with Starfleet, with Cardassians, with anyone and everyone. The following day was blocked out to a single appointment.
The day after that was cleared and protected for report writing, debriefs, sickbay visits. The day after that was more of the same. After that, the appointments started getting bitty and diverse, filled with the rescheduled remains of whatever had been displaced by tomorrows exercise.
"Hm," T'Lul responded looking at the diary. "Well, I see that you will have to cut out several appointments to meet your ten hour maximum. And two days hence, you will have to schedule a time and place for me. How would you like to continue your rouse, so that you can see me without embarrassment?"
"Tomorrow's not an option. There's an operation, and my time belongs to Commodore Stewart." Maritza said. "I'm expecting casualties. I could always drop in whilst visiting sick bay. Get your report on those casualties."
"As I said, once every 72 hours, so the day after is sufficient. I will make myself available in sickbay and find a private office to give my report on the casualties. Do not forget your daily reports on how something made you feel. I still expect those regardless of our personal visits every 72 hours."
"No." Soran said firmly. "I'm seeing you far more often than most would have to see you. That will have to do. After all, you've just told me I work too much, you can't give me work and then say that."
"I can, Captain and I will. My primary duty is making certain that you are psychologically fit for duty. Right now, I am not convinced that you are. Furthermore, I have significantly reduced your workload, as you will have 6 hours a day to do with as you please. Taking a moment or two to write a report is hardly overloading you compared to what you are doing now."
"And again, I am saying no." Talking was excruciating. Writing it down, creating evidence, dealing with it alone, was infinitely worse. "This..." she waved her hand at the room; she meant the talking, but that would have to do, "... is hard enough."
"Captain, I believe that you understand that consequences of not complying with my directives. I have tried to be as sensitive to your position and desires as possible, bending numerous Starfleet counseling regulations on you behalf. If you wish to ignore my efforts, then I will have to do what I must." She gave a small shrug as she stood. "Understand, Captain, that as a Vulcan, I take no pleasure in executing those consequences."
"I'm not ignoring you. But I also know that tomorrow I'm going to send people out, potentially to their deaths. I may have to give orders that I know are going to result in people's deaths. That is hard enough without submitting to your tortures. I am asking you to defer your request until our next meeting."
"I appreciate your request; however, I believe that this is a perfect opportunity for one of your reports on your feelings. Your request is denied. The consequences from here, Captain, are yours to choose." The Vulcan tilted her head at the Captain without a smile; however, a reasonable non-Vulcan might believe that T'Lul was pleased with herself and the Captain's predicament.
Maritza got to her feet and gave T'lul a cold look. "I understand. Good day, Lieutenant."
T'Lul replied, "Good day, Captain. I shall look forward to your report tomorrow and the clearing of your schedule. I shall see you in sickbay in two days, as agreed."
[OFF]
A joint post by:
Lieutenant T'Lul
Chief Pain in the Arse Counselor
DS5
Captain Maritza Soran
CO
DS5
RSS Feed