Rivers of Egypt (Part I)
Posted on Sun Aug 30, 2020 @ 5:14pm by Captain Maritza Soran & Lieutenant T'Lul
2,366 words; about a 12 minute read
Mission:
Et In Arcadia Ego
Location: DS5 Counseliing suite
Timeline: MD 7 1345
ON:
Now that she had access to all the medical and psychological records to the crew, T'Lul had the computer go through the entire staff and identify which officers were lacking their yearly psychological examinations. Since this station had been lacking a Chief Counselor for over six months, it was not surprising to find that much of the staff was well overdue.
However, what was more surprising was that the Captain had not had an evaluation since just after the Kzinti War! Intriguing T'Lul thought to herself. Clearly the Captain is very skilled at avoidance techniques. I wonder how that occurred. I shall have to bring her in immediately.
T'Lul touched her commbadge and called to the Captain. I shall not tell her that I will be doing her evaluation immediately. She will run. I will simply let her know that we need to discuss the crew's welfare. Such mild deception should keep her guard down and allow us to meet. =^= Captain, this is Counselor T'Lul. Would you come to my office immediately? =^=
Maritza put down her padd reading some of the reports from Medical on the silicon fungus. =^="What's this about?"=^= Maybe Dr Wells was having an episode, or Haines was acting out from anxiety for the day that would follow.
=^= It is best that we do not discuss this over the comm, Captain. It is of a sensitive nature, =^= the Vulcan responded neutrally. It should pique her curiosity enough to come down and not further inquire on the comm. Once she is here, we shall address the matter of her lack of psychological examination as to a hypothetical crewmember, opposed to herself. Then she will have to acknowledge that she is part of the crew and must follow the same rules for the welfare of the base.
=^="Is it urgent?"=^= She had a meeting in ten minutes with the state department to discuss the imminent eviction of the Cardassian consulate.
T'Lul considered the question. It was urgent in the sense that the evaluation was overdue. However, so much time had passed that minutes or even hours would not matter. =^= It must be discussed no later than lunch, =^= T'Lul responded setting an arbitrary deadline. If T'Lul had said a couple hours before the end of the day, then the Captain would have wondered why that specific time. Similarly, if she said the end of the day, the Captain could delay and say she was not on duty by the time she got back. By saying, "no later than lunch," T'Lul reasoned that if there was something urgent going on, the Captain could handle it but by setting a deadline of lunch, the Captain could come when it was most convenient for her before lunch, thus giving an element of volition for the Captain's exam.
Maritza pinched the bridge of her nose. =^="The earliest I can manage is quarter to two."=^= And then her yeoman was going to have to do some juggling.
The change of time was a mild surprise to T'Lul but at least the Captain had committed. It was an acceptable solution. She would have to tell another white lie to keep the urgency on the Captain, =^= I should be able to manage the situation until then. =^=
Soran entered the counselling suite at quarter to two as promised, where a vigilant petty officer acting as receptionist quickly led her to T'lul, and then closed the door. "What's the emergency?" She didn't sit.
"Captain," T'Lul started, rising from her seat, so they would be colleagues at an equal level. "I expected that the psychological updates would be well behind due to this station not having a chief counselor for six months. However, I have run into a rather unique problem. I have found an instance where a crew member is demonstrating signs of stress, passive aggressive behaviors, and has avoided psychological examination for over two years." T'Lul reflected that saying three years would have been a dead give away that she was referring to the Captain. "I require your assistance with this crewmember. Do you think that relieving this crewmember of duty until cleared would be appropriate?"
"Lieutenant," Maritza said, somewhat disappointed she had been summoned for something less than a crisis. "DS5 is not a posting for the soft. We're alone out here, in unusual circumstances. We have doors to everywhere a hundred kilometres below us, on a planet that appears to have ghosts. There's a frison on the Promenande that I worry about, the non-federation citizens versus the humans. I haven't had a competent chief engineer or operations officer handle this place for more than a few days in months, and yet the lower level staff soldier on, patching what they can when what we need is a full refit. There was a station wide power outage a week ago that killed three hundred people. Stress is normal. If they're doing their job adequately, it would hardly be cause for concern."
"There is stress and then there is stress that goes above and beyond that of what a normal crewmember should be experiencing. The crewmember may be doing a job adequately now; however, the behaviors that have already been exhibited, including increased irritability and passive aggressive behaviors, demonstrate that there may be significant risk to the station in the imminent future. The only way to be certain is the psychological evaluation which appears to have been avoided for over two years. The reason that Starfleet mandates them every year is to reduce the possibility that someone might suffer harm and break under the stress of the environments in which that person works."
This was a very specific hypothetical. Too specific. If it was any particular crewman, T'Lul would just be naming them wouldn't she? There was only one member of crew who's identity needs to be danced around. She folded her arms. "I like to think my aggression is very active, thank you."
"Remind me not to play poker with you, Captain," T'Lul replied flatly. "Perhaps you could explain to me why your aggression is very active. And, perhaps it would be more comfortable to take a seat. There is a couch if you would prefer that or to lie on it." T'Lul gestured over to the side.
Knowing she was cornered, Maritza sat. "I do not appreciate being brought up here under duplicitous circumstances."
"Captain, be honest with yourself and me, please. You would found reasons to avoid me and an evaluation had I not handled it in this manner. Three years of avoidance is quite impressive."
"You appreciate that its not terribly appropriate to be discussing personal and private things with those down my chain of command."
"All of our discussions are protected by the counselor-patient privilege, Captain. There are limited exceptions to that, as I'm certain that you are aware. Another reason why I reasoned it was better to have you come here for discussion rather than come to yours where others might make inferences that you would not like." She sat down and held out her hands openly. "I have considered all the possibilities for bringing you here in the way that I did, as well as your privacy." She cocked her head slightly, "Unless you believe there is something that I have missed. I will listen."
Arms still folded, legs crossed, Maritza looked at T'Lul for a long moment. The execution had been perfectly discreet. "Well. I'm here now."
"Yes, you are," T'Lul replied settling into her own chair. "That's an interesting defensive posture, Captain. You did not have that when we met. Tell me, what is it that bothers you about being here?"
"I don't like being ambushed, and I don't like talking about personal issues."
"We already discussed why I did what I did, Captain. It was logical and necessary. As to not liking talking about personal issues, why is that?" T'Lul asked simply, continuing to ask the open ended questions to get the Captain to open up.
"Because they're personal." Maritza pointed out. "And I see no value in trying to rehash old ground. The past is done, and it cannot be changed."
"You're correct in a sense. The past cannot be changed. However, how one views the past and how one allows the past to affect oneself has a profound effect on one's present and future. So, why don't you tell me about yourself?"
Well, that was a loaded question. "I'm sure you've read my file. It's all in there." All of it, the shame, the failures, the torture and the loss. Eight years of trying and failing. She'd had a plan, and every action she'd taken to follow it had resulted in disaster. And she might have made captain young, but she hadn't earned it. It was desperation, confusion on the part of the Federation on how the terrible gift below them actually worked, she was sure. And she was definitely making a mess of it.
Why do all people who do not want to get in touch with their feelings say, "Look at my file"? Such anger and self depreciating behaviors only lead to an earlier death and push others away. Does she fear being weak? Have people harmed her, so she can trust nobody? Certainly the Kzinti War had an effect on her. It is a good thing that patience is a Vulcan virtue. T'Lul shook her head. "No, Captain. It is not all in there. Your dossier tells me your basic information, such as you're a Trill with no symbiont. You have blonde hair and blue eyes. You weigh only 130 pounds despite being 5 feet 9 inches tall, at least as of your last physical.
"I can read that you were originally assigned here as the Chief Strategic Operations Officer and that you took over as the effective Captain when the prior Captain and Executive Officer left. You are only 30 years old, which makes you extremely young to have this position. I have read about your involvement in the Kzinti War and serving on a Klingon ship. But none of this tells me about you. It tells me what you have done. It tells me what other people have written about you and with your last psychological exam being just after the Kzinti War, which basically said you were fit for duty. And of course, all of that is out of date. You were not a Captain then. It also tells me nothing about your likes, your dislikes, or how you view yourself."
So the Captain realized that T'Lul would take all the time that she felt was necessary for this appointment, T'Lul visibly leaned back in her chair, inhaled deeply and then exhaled. T'Lul looked extremely composed and relaxed. Of course, how many people ever saw a Vulcan that was not composed?
"I'm surprised it says so little." Soran countered. "Didn't it mention that I watched eight members of my crew get tortured to death by the Kzinti and the only reason I survived was because they realised I wasn't human, and threw me in with the rest of the females instead? Or maybe it mentioned how I was part of the investigation that brought down Admiral Renfrew and the only thanks I got was being put on a survey ship in the arse end of space? Or the loss of the Serenity? Or that fact that I've been in command for the deaths of nearly a thousand people now?"
T'Lul leaned forward interested in the Captain's clear pain and anger. "All of those things exist in your file. However, from what I have read, Serenity's loss was not your fault. That despite the setback dealt to you with Admiral Renfrew, you turned the situation into an advancement opportunity with the Klingons, and eventually ended up here. I see no mention anywhere that you have not been anything but a competent and skilled officer...." She purposely allowed the last sentence to dangle to see what the Captain might fill in. After all, her anger was venting but the Captain had not yet had the epiphany that she could not control everything and that she had to accept losses before she could be free from the baggage of her past.
"Being competent doesn't bring people back from the dead. Or excuse poor decisions."
From what T'Lul had read, there were not any poor decisions that the Captain had made. They also seemed logical from the Captain's dossier. Therefore, it was likely that the Captain irrationally blamed herself for matters out of her control. "Let me ask you two questions, Captain: First, may I call you by your first name here? And second, are you a god?"
"No, no, and please don't patronise me."
Mentally T'Lul sighed. The Captain was wound tighter than a Gordian knot. "This is not patronization, Captain. I have no need to make myself look or feel superior. I apologize if you felt that my question came across that way. I was merely trying to illustrate a point. You are blaming yourself for things that are out of your control." Deciding to to push the Captain further, T'Lul asked, "Do you also blame yourself for the parasite that attacked crew when you were sleeping?"
The effect on the captain was instant. Her whole body, already stiff, went rigid, even as she stood. "We're done here. You'll have to excuse me, I have a group of Cardassians to evict without managing to also start an interstellar war." She began to walk briskly for the exit.
"Captain," T'Lul called towards her, "if you leave this office, you will force me to relieve you of duty. Please trust me when I say that I do not desire that result but also trust me when I tell you that I will not hesitate to do it. You may be in charge up there but this is my province." T'Lul did not rise from her chair at all, but sat back slightly, with an arm open towards the chair that the Captain left. "So, please, sit."
To be Continued…
Captain Maritza Soran
CO
DS5
Lieutenant T'Lul
Chief Counselor
DS5
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