Poked and Prodded

Posted on Fri Mar 15, 2019 @ 12:05am by Lieutenant Commander River Morgan & Civilian Jason Haines

3,053 words; about a 15 minute read

Mission: Doors of Perception
Location: DS5, Primary Sickbay
Timeline: MD03, 1400

[ON]

After Jason had met with the Captain, the obligatory new post physical was next on the check-in, checklist. He really hadn't come to grips with the size of the base so it took him a while to get to sickbay. There was too much to explore and his inquisitive nature had gotten the better of him more than once.

He entered sickbay and was just as amazed. It was much larger than a standard ship sickbay, which made sense given the population. He went up to the reception terminal.

"Hi", he said. "I'm Lieutenant Haines and I need to schedule a check-in physical."

The Andorian Petty Officer behind the desk looked up and her antennae swivelled towards him elegantly as she took him in. "Good afternoon, Lieutenant. Welcome. How are you spelling Haines please?" she asked. "Or do you have an ID? Perhaps former medical records? Maybe a datarod?" the addition of the more obvious ways of introducing himself at the end of her question was probably the only sign of her annoyance that he hadn't immediately handed her an easier way to register him than just his name but other than that she was pleasant and smiley.

"I and my Starfleet records, spell Haines, H-a-i-n-e-s, Petty Officer", he said with a smirk. "And my Starfleet id number is HM-782-7001-QKJ, or so they tell me. I hope that gives you enough to get my information."

"Very good Sir" the Andorian approved, her expression changing almost not at all but just the antennae giving away that she was showing an interest. She processed the numbers and spelling and looked up at Jason. "This seems to be all in order Lieutenant." she confirmed. "If you would like to take yourself down that way....to Bay 6, someone will be with you shortly." she indicated the direction she wanted him to go by extending her arm softly and angling her hand so that she wasn't pointing but guiding.

"Bay 6, Cubicle 1 if you please Sir?" she added more detail, pressing on the LCARS of her console to summon the next available medic to do the medical for him.

Jason smiled at her, gave a nod, as said, "As you wish."

He then went to the cubicle, casting a brief glance back the Andorian. Getting on the biobed, he laid back and waited.

A red-haired woman in a white coat arrived shortly. "Hello." she looked at her PaDD. "Lieutenant Haines?" she asked.

Jason smiled at the woman, "Indeed, that is me."

"I'm River, I'm a locum for the CMO who's on maternity leave. I understand you need a quick hazing as you're new?" she grinned. "No, I'm kidding of course! Sorry" She added quickly before he could feel startled at her strange sense of humour.

"Come on", Jason replied. "What's the sense in having newbies if you can't haze them? I think there is a section in Starfleet regs on that very thing. Given the size of the station, you might want to make it quick before the next batch comes in. It is a pleasure to meet you doctor. Do feel free to call me Jason."

"Jason, happy to meet you too. And incidentally, I would never do such a thing. Around here everyone thinks I'm a spoilsport because I not only won't do it, but I won't tolerate it in my department. I am so much the bad guy over it that i have to make jokes about it to stop them all making it a big deal. I don't see why we can't welcome in the newcomers to our station by letting them come in and impress us and win our respect in a nice way by showing us how good they are at something of their choice instead of deliberately making them feel awkward, silly or even worse in some cases. I promise to learn to respect and accept you by a much better bit of team building." she smiled. "Do you climb? What's your favourite sport/game/hobby?" she asked as she was setting up the bio bed around him and initialising the first scans.

"Well, do keep in mind, there is definitely a distinct difference between hazing and abuse", Jason said. "The line is easy to cross without a good leader keeping an eye on things. In regards to your question, as a general rule, no I don't climb. I have a distinct dislike of falling, which the chance increases the higher you go. As far as sports go, scuba diving. Games, generally cards. Hobbies, I like playing the guitar. What about you?"

River smiled. "Well, I asked because I like climbing so that's a shame but then again, scuba is fun and cards are too. I love music though, it's my passion." she told him as she was working the scanners and pressing lightly on the tiny LCARS lights, absently putting him through the routines that the bio bed obliged with, reeling out results onto a monitor behind him at which she glanced, nodding as she approved of the results she was seeing.

"You seem to be in good shape Guitar Man" she said as she wound up the first tests and started on the last set.

"I am glad to hear that", Jason replied. "It is better than being bent out of shape. So, when you say music is your passion, do you sing, play an instrument, compose, or just listen and enjoy?"

"All of the above. I sing - although not too well! - I compose - but only simple little ditties I play the harp although my main tastes in listening is ancient 21st Century "Rock" as they used to call it, and that's quite an extreme of opposites." River told him, adjusting the last of the instruments and performing the last scan as she explained. "I guess that makes me quite odd really. A contradiction I suppose."

She pushed a data rod into the machine behind his head and instructed the machine to fill it.

"Rock and roll was my dad's favorite, from the 20th century mainly", Jason said. "After the Eugenics war it was harder to find stuff. He taught me how to play. And I sing solo, myself. As in, so low you can't hear it, usually. If I get into something though and I'm not paying attention I can start to embarrass myself by singing. So, what is your favorite rock and roll song?"

"Rock yes, but not the roll type for me. Metal for me, I think. It's a harder sound than Rock and Roll but I prefer the heat in it. It's passionate. However, I don't think I could choose only one.... there would have to be a selection, there are so many sub-types and tempos, I'd choose something by Linkin Park, Aerosmith, ZZ-Top, Pink, Guns n Roses, Green Day, Queen, Meatloaf, Evanescence, Pink Floyd, My Chemical Romance, Kings of Leon, Audioslave, Stonesour, Foo Fighters, Within Temptation ..... there's hundreds - thousands of great tracks, how could i pick out one as the best?" she enthused. He'd found her favourite subject.

"Well, for straight out playing, I like some of the classics, Beatles, Chuck Berry, but then you get up into some more interesting bands", Jason replied. "The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, one of my favorites AC/DC, then the Eagles, Metallica is fun to play, Guns and Roses is alright, I like their lead, but can't stand the singer. There are a few other bands that I like to play their songs on, but once the music started to change around 2000, the guitar wasn't featured quite as much. All that said, you do have some good ones in your list. ZZ-Top, definitely has some nice ones to play."

"and nice to sing along to as well. I'm particularly fond of percussion myself. A great drummer is a total star in my book, no matter who he or she is, the whole talent of being able to do four different rhythms with four limbs is a wonder I've never fathomed but always admired." she admitted.

"So, what you are saying is that we only need a drummer and a bass player and we have a band for the station", Jason said with a chuckle. "We could call it 'Cover' as we covered all the classics. That's assuming I am healthy. What's the prognosis doc? And please don't make me break into Robert Palmer."

"You can break into Robert Palmer if you like, I for one wouldn't object!" she laughed. "Yes, you'll live. And if you find me a nice looking drummer he and I could make even better music but preferably not publicly" She recorded off his datarod with the certification of health on it and held it out for him to take with him.

"I think live music would be great for this station. It would bring out a lot of latent or hidden talent as well. You've got yourself a deal Clive Davis" she held out a hand to shake his as if doing that deal and smiling she added. "And I predict you'll probably live until you're at least a hundred".

Jason shook her hand and then said, "What is this one hundred years stuff? I plan on living forever and ruling the galaxy."

He chuckled and then asked, "So, how long have you been stationed here? How do you like it?"

River laughed aloud. "Ah, Emperor Ming... we weren't properly introduced. I'm sure you'll do well here. We have a lot of diplomats with similar ambition based on this Starbase apparently. Cardassians, Romulans, Humans.... all kinds of megalomania at its best." she giggled. "I've only been here a few months myself, but I'll get myself settled in and then see what sort of warmongering I can get up to later." she moved to the replicator and asked him if he would like a drink of anything. Warming to him and his lovely sense of humour, River was hoping he might stay a while and chat for a short while.

"I've been told that there is a lot of intrigue going on. It should make ruling this corner of the galaxy interesting. As to a drink, if there is root beer programmed into the replicator", Jason said. "I could go for a cold one. Although, I've never been to sickbay with such great service. I've always had to have something removed before getting post-op treatment."

"I think it may be possible to oblige you with a surgery if your great Royalness would like one. What would the Ruler like removed? We aren't allowed to create eunuchs any more but we can do all kinds of suitable chopping about of tubes to make sure no mini-emperors might happen and grow up to threaten their glorious paternal parent. Ungrateful kids!" she said, fetching a tray with a root beer, some sharps, a hypospray and some band aid equivalent spray on wound protection. She set it down with an innocent look on her face as if she had some seriousness about her intentions.

Unfortunately for her, the sparkle in her eyes gave away the joke but it was well presented and she nearly got away with her attempt to trick him into thinking she meant it. A smile spread involuntarily from the edge of her lips.

Jason flashed a mock 'horrified' look and replied, "Oh no, I plan on having many progeny as I will need a personal army of minions to carry out my rule and be able to blame for when things go wrong and the people start to complain. I do however have a hang-nail that if you wanted to remove, that would be great."

A sly smile started to creep across his face.

"Thank you for the root beer", he then said, lifting it in a toasting motion and then taking a sip of it.

"Don't go telling everyone I gave you that. I'll have a queue half a mile long before I know it, if the word gets out!" she laughed, sipping some of her own drink as they chatted.

"Not to mention that half the shop-keeps across the station would be knocking on the door for a cut of the business", Jason said with a smile. "either that, or they would start opening up backroom clinics."

"Let them try! I have Starfleet to back me up and make sure I have the best advertising in the sector... not to mention the best security guys to muscle the competition out!" she laughed.

"You wouldn't happen to be part Orion would you?", Jason asked, laughing as well. "If not, I think there might be a few of the old guard in the Syndicate who might want to talk to you."

River laughed. "Syndicate? They're my best customers!" she winked at him, still grinning and sipped more of her own drink.

"So where do you intend to invade and conquer next, your Royal Greatness?" she smirked gently, enjoying the banter. It was nice for a change from the usual formality of these routine exams that no-one liked.

"Well, seeming how I am new to the whole conquering the universe thing", Jason replied. "I am thinking of starting small. There are a couple of restaurants in the promenade that seem like they would make for a good first strike. Seeming how conquering seems like a racing business, it would be good to have some good nearby."

He looked serious for a moment and then his frown started to creep across his face again.

"It's always good to have some good nearby.... in any business." she responded, not sure what he was talking about or what anything had to do with racing, but playing along as it was probably part of his side of the banter. "..but it can't be all that good if it's making you frown, your Magnificence?" she played her part.

"Well, I am just trying to formulate a plan that keeps the cooks and wait staff from being killed. No sense in taking an eatery over if you kill the staff. Lord knows I can't cook."

"Oh no, and here I was deciding you were perfect and now you tell me you can't cook. I AM disappointed. Gutted I might go as far as venturing." She put on an unhappy almost sulky facial expression with a smirk playing around the edges of her shapely lips.

"I am sorry to hear that", Jason replied with a smile as River pouted. "Although I am a busy dic tator, how may I make amends for wounding you so deeply? It pains me to see my subjects in such distress."

"You are too beneficent Mighty One" she dipped her head in salute to his supposed superior characteristics and charity.

"You make amends to me - if such could ever be due in our situations - by offering such condescension as honours me deeply." she pretended to fawn over him, her smirk lighting her unusual eyes with a sparkle.

"I do believe your presence in my Sick Bay alone will be a light in my whole life that i will look back on for as long as I can see and value light." she added, almost laughing at the silliness of her own nonsense. It was fun to be so crazy and any reason to laugh and enjoy good company needed no excuse. She clapped him on the shoulder deliberately and began to point him towards the door, pretending to suddenly remember his status and apologising as she continued to bulldoze him out. It was pure pantomime and she was now grinning.

"I hope your Magnificence will call again in a few centuries. We don't get visitors of your ilk often and it would be lovely to see..... er... a great honour to welcome your Imperial Eminence, at any time!" Beaming she pushed his datarod containing his medical report deeper into his breast pocket so it wouldn't fall out and softening as they got out into the main bay, she held out her hand to shake his.

"You're a pleasure to talk to Lieutenant. I haven't enjoyed a routine physical check so much in .... well, ever!" she continued to grin. "You truly are welcome back at any time, even without your Imperial persona. I think I'm going to like the real Lt. Haines now I've met him. Welcome to the Station Jason. We need more people who can laugh and brighten up the place. I think you'll do nicely!" she said.

Jason laughed as she ushered him along and shook her hand back. "I have to agree, the best physical I have had in my career. And I hope it won't need to be in sickbay that we meet as it would probably mean some of my plans have gone awry and I would be in need of your fine medical care. Thanks for the welcome doc, I look forward to seeing you around!"

"Take care" she laughed as he left. She watched him go with an odd feeling she couldn't define. It felt a little like some degree of regret of some kind but she shook her head as if to clear it away physically. It was lovely to have someone to laugh and joke about with. She enjoyed his company. That was all, right? She'd only ever met him the once. He might be an axe-murderer for all she knew... in fact, knowing her luck, he was very likely to be one, or worse! She smiled again, the thoughts keeping her lightened mood with her after he was gone. Yes, she had liked him and would be very happy to bump into him again.

On the subject of bumping into people, River turned and almost collided with Opal Oliver, her civilian doctor friend. "Steady on!" Opal said, surprised at the sudden appearance of river round a corner in the main bay. "Sorry!" River said, wiping the smile off her face but too late that Opal wouldn't have seen it.

"What's so funny?" Opal enquired, her brows quizzical.

"Oh nothing" River replied and left a very mystified and curious Opal watching her go.


[OFF]
---
Lieutenant JG Jason Haines
Chief Intelligence Officer
Deep Space 5

& Lt Cmdr River Morgan
Acting CMO - DS5

& Dr Opal Oliver
Civilian Surgical Specialty Doctor
DS5

 

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