Early Morning Blues

Posted on Tue Nov 24, 2020 @ 7:44am by Lieutenant Alanna Wells & Civilian Jason Haines

1,642 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Things Past
Location: Deep Space 5
Timeline: MD 9, 0100

[ON]

Jason woke in the lounge of the Pioneer as there was a call for docking over the comm system. He was glad his nap hadn't brought any dreams to him. He wasn't sure if he could deal with them right now.

Jason slowly made his way to a secondary transporter room. He didn't want to run into the Commodore again. He waited long enough so that he knew the rest of the DS5 crew was off. He had no desire to be amongst them. He knew what they thought of him, it wouldn't change for some time, if at all. Plus, his mind and heart weren't for being around people, most people anyways.

Due to recent events, Alanna had grown more introverted. She spent most of her time in science or on Pangaea where she could focus on work. Jason was away dealing with Daniels--or whatever his name was. She kept thinking about him, and what was going on. It meant she wasn't getting much sleep--like tonight. Or, rather this morning. To distract herself, she had a holographic map of the archaeological sites of Pangaea in her living room so she could study it.

Looking around, Jason decided to go to the Promenade. Although he was tired and weary, he wasn't ready to sleep. He needed to go to Doctor Oliver's clinic. As he moved through the busy Promenade, he got a number of stares given his condition and having a part of his ear gone, made people look twice. He didn't care, he was still in too much denial of what had happened to really give thought to others.

Alanna stretched and looked at the chronometer. She'd been working for nearly six hours. "Definitely time for a break." She didn't have much in her quarters, and didn't want to replicate anything. She was dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, which was great for hanging around her quarters, but not so good for visiting the promenade. She changed into a pair of jeans and tennis shoes and headed to the turbolift to see if the French café was open.

The turbolift doors opened and standing there was Jason. He looked in pretty rough shaped, with his ear seeming the worse off, part of it missing. Alanna could feel immense waves of distress coming from Jason. He smiled weakly as she was the only individual on the station he was truly up to seeing.

"Hey", he said in a weary voice. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

She smiled and immediately went over to him. "I was working on a project. I'm glad you're back--although you look a bit rough."

"Yeah", Jason said, trying to keep his emotions in check. "It didn't go so well. I need to go to the clinic and get this ear fixed."

She wasn't going to pry, but she wanted to know what happened. "Do you want me to come with you?" She could give him support until he was ready to tell her about it.

Jason reached out with his hand and gave a brief nod. There was definitely sadness coming from him. He didn't say anything while walking to the clinic, just held her hand, somewhat tightly. It took about a half hour at the clinic for him to get patched up. The burns were gone and his ear looked mostly normal.

"Can barely tell it was shot off", Jason said with a brief smirk. "I'm not going to go on any more missions. I end up getting pounded on too much."

"You won't hear any complaints from me." She smiled, but she didn't like him getting so hurt and would be happy to see him do something less dangerous for a while. "I'm here if you want to talk about it. If not, I won't ask any questions." She didn't really care what they did, she was relieved he was back, and she sensed that he would need some time to process what happened. For now, she just wanted to be with him. "Hey, if you want to clean up, I'll fix you something to eat."

"That sounds good", Jason said with a weak smile, nodding his head a bit. "Can we go to your place? Mine isn't quite decorated and well, you have most of my stuff."

She grinned. "I do indeed, although some of it is down on Pangaea." She'd been spending more of her time there lately, doing research. "I've got a holograph of the planet in the living room. I've been working on it off and on for a few weeks. I'll shut it down and fix something while you take a shower."

"Ok", Jason said quietly as she let him into her quarters he went and showered. He came out of the bathroom in shorts and a tee-short and seemed distraught as he sat on the couch in the living area.

"How am I supposed to tell her?" he asked as if they had been having some sort of conversation. "How am I supposed to tell N'vara?"

Tears were starting to roll down his cheeks.

She sat down next to him and took his hand. "Directly is often best." She didn't know for sure what he was talking about, but she had a good idea. "Tell her kindly."

Jason looked at her, eyes wet, "The bastard shot him." His hands started to tremble rapidly. "It was an illegal weapon, it disintegrated him. He jumped right in front of me. There was nothing left of him. I couldn't stop him."

He slammed his fist down on the seat.

"Why couldn't I stop him?", he asked, looking at Alanna, crying. "All I could do was get Xeod afterwards. I pummeled him, but I couldn't kill him."

He looked down at his hands and rubbed them together as if washing them.

She put her hand over his, letting the emotion wash through her. "Perhaps to save you. To give you a chance to do more with your life than he did with his. Maybe, by saving you, he redeemed himself. Or he simply did it because he loved you."

"How did a psycho like that stay in Starfleet for so long and not get brought in?", he asked, not expecting any answer. "Do you have to develop a mental issue to be promoted to Commander or higher in Starfleet. Psychotic, hypocrite, liar. I've encountered them all since being here."

She had no answer to that because she'd seen more than a few here herself.

He rubbed his hands again.

"I'm going to go to the planet like you suggested", he said. "I need to get away, figure some stuff out, by myself."

He looked down at his hands again and rubbed them together.

"I hope it helps," she said quietly. "Actually, I'll be spending more time on Pangaea, too. I've started a personal research project excavating one of the ancient settlements. And I want to spend more time in the portal complex. Right now, I plan to do as much of my work on the planet as I can. I was going to tell you when you got back. That's not saying you have to spend time with me," she quickly amended. She didn't want him to feel obligated to see her. "Just letting you know." She missed him like crazy, but he needed time to think and figure out what he wanted to do next and that would require a lot of alone time.

Tears still in his eyes, he put his hand on her cheek gently.

"It won't be for eight months like it was last time", he said. "And, this time, you can have the frequency for the tracking chip, in case there is an emergency and you need to find me."

She was no longer able to hold back her own tears. "Good, because you know I'll be checking on you, just to make sure you're all right." She put a hand over his. "You've been through so much the past few months. I wish I could make everything better, but I know I can't. Just remember I'll be around when you need me, and that I love you."

Jason smiled, held onto her, and kissed her. Although he did not echo the words she had said, Alanna could feel Jason's love for her, even amongst the grief and rage. It was almost as if that was what stood between him being a reasonable individual and a floodgate which would let out all his negative feelings.

She was keenly aware of his emotional state. At this moment, she wanted nothing more than to go away somewhere with him where no one could find them and he could have the time and distance he needed to heal. But life was never that easy. Jason needed to deal with the loss of his father, his feelings of betrayal, and his anger on his terms. He'd been her anchor before, she was willing to be his now. Through her bond with him some of what she was feeling bled through. Above all was her commitment to him. She said nothing, enjoying this moment of closeness.

Jason lay his head on Alanna's shoulder and held her hand. It was only a few moments later that she heard a light snoring.

She smiled, but didn't move for several minutes. She didn't want to wake him if she could help it. Once she thought he was deep enough asleep, she gently maneuvered him so he was laying on the couch and covered him with a light blanket.

She watched to make sure he settled down, then kissed him on the forehead, saved her work, and went in the bedroom to read a bit before going to sleep herself.

____
OFF

Jason Haines
Beach Bum

Lieutenant Alanna Wells
Chief Science Officer
Deep Space 5

 

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