Rivers of Egypt (Part II)

Posted on Mon Sep 7, 2020 @ 5:36am by Captain Maritza Soran & Lieutenant T'Lul

1,852 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: Et In Arcadia Ego
Location: DS5 Counselling Suite
Timeline: MD07 1345

Previously in Rivers of Egypt
The effect on the captain was instant. Her whole body, already stiff went rigid, even as she stood. "We're done here. You'll have to excuse me, I have a group of Cardassians to evict without managing to also start an interstellar war." She began to walk briskly for the exit.

"Captain," T'Lul called towards her, "if you leave this office, you will force me to relieve you of duty. Please trust me when I say that I do not desire that result but also trust me when I tell you that I will not hesitate to do it. You may be in charge up there but this is my province." T'Lul did not rise from her chair at all, but sat back slightly, with an arm open towards the chair that the Captain left. "So, please, sit."

And now the continuation

---

Maritza turned at the door, and stared at the Vulcan for a moment with absolute fury. Then she walked back across the room to her original seat, and sat back down.

"That is quite the glare," T'Lul informed the Captain. "However, I am Vulcan. I am not affected by emotions."

You might be, when someone stabs you for being infuriating. Martiza kept her expression as neutral as she could manage. "Very well, you may continue."

"This is not about me, Captain. I know you may feel that way at this moment. However, this is always for you. It is a safe space. As I said before, nothing you say here will be repeated and is kept confidential." She relaxed back into the chair again, her body language indicating that she had all the time in the world and would not be going anywhere in a hurry. She decided to start over at the very beginning, "So, why don't you tell me about yourself?"

Maritza release her folded arms, and folded her hands in her lap. "I was born on Trill, in the capital. My mother is an architect, and growing up, my father was a senator, and I have one brother, Ahjin, who is three years older than me. He's an artist. He's getting married next year, and then I'll have a brother-in-law too."

T'Lul made no mention of the Captain changing her posture, a small release on her tight controls. She still did not tell me a thing about herself. She deflects everything. Why will she not let anyone in? Or has she in the past. "What about you, Captain? Do you have a significant other?"

Did she? She'd cut Geral off, only to let Xae talk her into at least hearing him out later tonight. "No. Not at the moment."

No surprise there. "When was the last time that you had a relationship?" T'Lul asked curiously.

"It ended recently." Maritza admitted, working hard to keep her mood level. And then she added, to save time because she knew T'Lul would ask, "It turns out his advances were part of a bet to see if he could get me into bed."

"I see. How did that make you feel?" T'Lul asked.

She'd been devastated. And furious. And crushed. And she was feeling so empty. It had only been five days, but it seemed like eternity. "I should have been more suspicious. He was too good to be true."

And once again the Captain deflected her feelings, believing that she should somehow be omniscient. "I heard that in ancient Terran and Trill times that people who blamed themselves would ceremonially flog themselves with straps that had knots in them. It would, of course, cut open their backs and let out the bad blood. Would you like me to provide you with one?" She leaned slightly forward and put her hands on her desk.

"That won't be nescesary." After all, hadn't she already let Charg beat her to a pulp. How many ribs had the doctor had to weld closed? Three? Four? Though resetting the nose had been worse.

"Tell me Captain, why do you wish to ignore and deflect your feelings? If you are so interested in repressing your feelings, we could send you to Vulcan for training, though I do not think that is a wise choice."

"I haven't ignored them. But the fault is mine. I am... not just a person anymore. Even if its only here, I have things that others might find useful. Power, influence." The terms of the fae treaty came to mind. Queen of DS5, the Fae queens had called t'vaurek, and command of DS5 would go to her, and the rulers that came after her. Which was her. She was the ruler here. "I am the Captain of this ship, steward of a hundred thousand souls, and, within the limitation of the regulations, my word is law. I can see the profit in wanting to be able to manipulate that word. And I should have remembered that."

"There is no question that you're the Captain of this station. But the fact that you said that you're 'not just a person anymore,' is concerning. You are not a computer. You are not a slave to the station. Captain is your job. It is not who you are," T'Lul told the Captain, leaning forward. "Who takes care of Maritza? Certainly she has needs and desires. She has feelings and interests. The job can occasionally take care of itself."

The question made her flinch. Who did care for her? Her father had practically disowned her after her very public call for revolution, her mother tried to build a bridge but she was too much like her father and there was no compromise to be found there. Ahjin was light years away, and still in his lovebird phase. Their brief calls hardly counted, the closeness they had shared after she had taken a stand had been lost to her responsibilities to the uniform.

And she certainly didn't look after herself beyond the minimum. She frequently worked eighteen hour days. She lived on vitamin pills, barely flavoured protein liquid and heroic levels of legal stimulants. At least she was clean of the rest of it these days. The only person who'd ever made sure she ate had been Geral. "I have goals that are reliant on achievement here. Personal entanglements are a distraction I can't afford."

"And if you ignore your own needs, you will never achieve your full potential, as a person or as the Captain of this starbase," T'Lul informed the Captain, leaning forward. "So, when you're not being the Captain, what does Maritza enjoy? What made HER happy?" T'Lul reasoned that it would be easier for the Captain to view herself separately from her job at this time. It might make it easier for her to get in touch with her emotions and feelings. Drawing boundaries would have to be imposed for now. T'Lul knew that the Captain was not going to like many of her tasks, but if the Captain wanted to remain on duty, she would comply. Maritza had an overdeveloped sense of duty.

"I am not not-captain very often," Maritza admitted. "I read. I study. And I-" she stopped. Glorantha had passed away a few years ago, and a starship had been no place to raise a new chick. And she couldn't remember the last time she'd stepped into the holodeck to fly a bird. "I used to fly a goshawk, but it's been a while."

It was not much, but it was definitely progress. The Captain was starting to remember what it was like to be a person. "Why did you stop flying the goshawk?" she asked curiously.

"She died." Maritza quietly. She'd been on her first assignment out of the academy, and as she was gone, her father had her taxidermied. "I mean, she was old when I left for the academy, and she died whilst I was gone, but I still have a simulation of her, for the holodeck. But I haven't used it in years. It's just... never the right time. There's always more to do. Read this, fix that, critique something else, train someone else. Tests and exams when I was younger. And here? So many reports. status reports on a dozen different systems, personnel reviews, media enquiries, fending off the PMA, talking to civilians, reporting back to Starfleet Command, reporting back to the state department. Its not dull round here, but its never quiet."

"Do you have a Yeoman, Captain? What do you think of your XO?" T'Lul pried.

"If you think my yeomen aren't run off their own feet running interference for me, then you are wrong." Martiza replied tartly. "And my XO is extremely competent. If you think I'm not delegating, you are wrong. But there is more work than ever, and he has just as big a workload as I do."

“I didn’t say that you were not delegating, Captain. However, if you still have so much to do, perhaps you need to look at how important some of those tasks are or how critical some are to be done. None of the things we discuss here, though, Captain are what I think except when it comes to duty fitness. Everything else is about exploring how you think and feel,” T’Lul reminded the Captain.

"What I need is a proper chief engineer and a proper chief of ops." Martiza sighed. Most of the people I'm sent are just overwhelmed by the size of the job. As it stands my best engineer and my best ops officers are both barely out of the academy. Between them they hold this station together, but they're young, and the stress is getting to them. But older, steadiers hands don't seem to want to touch this place."

“I will make sure to meet with them, then, while we are waiting for chiefs. In the meantime, Captain, let’s talk about your duty logs. It seems that you are constantly working doubles. If I were to approximate your sleep, it would be approximately 4.357 hours per day. And you admittedly take no time for yourself. I am fairly certain that you are not spending time doing ops or engineering....”

"I'm never really off-duty." Maritza managed to find a faint smile. "Comes with the shiny pips."

"Well, Captain, those shiny pips are going to have to be put aside for a little while," the Counselor told Maritza. She leaned back again, this time thoughtfully. "I am sensitive to your desire for privacy. However, you are neglecting your personal requirements both emotionally and physically." She thought again. She needed the Captain's trust for her to follow through on T'Lul's recommendations; however, she also had to make it clear that if the Captain did not do as she requested, that she would take greater action.

"In my professional opinion, Captain, you are what humans would colloquially call a 'ticking time bomb.'

To Be Continued...

Lieutenant T'Lul
Chief Pain in the Arse Counselor
DS5

Captain Maritza Soran
CO
DS5

 

RSS Feed