Lost and Alone

Posted on Thu Jan 30, 2020 @ 11:20am by Lieutenant Alanna Wells

648 words; about a 3 minute read

Mission: Doors of Perception
Location: DS5 and Pangaea
Timeline: Backpost after We Regret to Inform You

ON

For six months, Alanna spent most of her free time working or exploring Pangaea. It kept her busy and didn’t let her dwell on Jason’s absence. She couldn’t accept that Jason was really dead. Not when there was no proof.

Even now, after Captain Soran’s statement, a part of her still wouldn’t believe he wasn’t coming back, that he wasn’t stuck somewhere. And there was the meeting with Jason’s father—she was sure it was him, even if he didn’t admit it. He told her that she shouldn’t count Jason out just yet. At the same time, she understood the prudence of outwardly agreeing with them. Enough people were already concerned about her mental state.

She debated if she should go to her office, the arboretum, or Pangaea to have some time alone to process the news.

She’d finished the upgrades on the shuttle Draxx gave her. She meant to show it to Jason, but with one thing and another, it never happened. Instead of Jason, she had a friend look it over to be sure she hadn’t missed anything, and to install some additional security in case hers wasn’t enough. She was fairly confident no one would spy on her or take back control.

She still hadn’t figured out exactly how the shuttle managed to get past planetary security, but that would come with time. For now, she used it for camping trips while she got a first-hand look at Pangaea and its artifacts.

Thinking about the shuttle and a chance to get away from everyone had her bypassing science to go to her quarters and change into civilian clothes. She sent T’gan and Breathe a brief message explaining that she’d be gone for a few days. They knew they could contact her if it was important, but for now, she needed to be alone, and Pangaea was the best place to ensure that.

An hour later she landed the shuttle in a wooded area of Pangaea, far away from the colony and any of the several science teams working on the bone pit and other archaeological sites. When she’d shut everything down, she opened the hatch and sat, looking out on the woods.

For six months, she’d imagined Jason returning, telling her he’d escaped from Daniels. Every night she dreamed about him. And now, Starfleet had given him up for dead. But could she? She thought about it, reaching inside to listen to her heart. No. She couldn’t accept that. Not yet. Not when there was still a chance. Not when Rob Haines said there was hope. Not yet, anyway. But the meeting with Soran brought back all the pain and heartache of those first weeks. She thought she was doing better, but today only showed her that she’d been lying to herself. She only buried the pain instead of dealing with it.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “Oh, Jason, where are you?” She asked. For just a moment, she imagined hearing his voice. Then she shook her head. No. She couldn’t give up hope just yet, but she couldn’t sit here mourning him, either. Still, she couldn’t get herself to move. She stared into the trees as if they held the answers to her questions. She let herself cry then, where no one would see.

After a while she stood, going back into the shuttle to grabbed her backpack. “Computer, turn on Tribble-Fang security. Authorization Alanna Alpha 7233819.”

“Tribble-Fang activated.”

That should keep out any potential intruders—and warn her of anyone who came within 300 meters.

Finally, she secured the shuttle and headed into the trees to get lost for a while.

____
OFF

Lieutenant Alanna Wells
Chief Science Officer
Deep Space Five

 

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