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Posted on Fri Jan 23, 2015 @ 12:52am by Captain Tam "Demon" Haican

427 words; about a 2 minute read

((This is a back post log that Tam made while still flying to DS5))

Personal Log, Stardate 69055.3. I just began my final warp jump to Deep Space Five and should arrive there within the hour. I must admit, I am a little cautious about how things will go here. While Command has entrusted me with an important posting and a promotion, I know that this could very well be my last chance. Sebina's...misadventures...has put a bad taste in a lot of people's mouths when my name comes up. I truly hope that this move will put a stop to that.

I know she's in pain. I can feel it ever time we are near one another. I know that she doesn't blame me for Verena and Revin's death, however, I do. I failed to protect my family and for that I will be damned.

Pause recording. *The fighter's computer beeped an acknowledgment. Tam then sat for a moment as the emotion of the memories flooded through him. He hadn't even been able to give his wife and young son proper burials. They were simply gone by the time he awoke from his coma. Rationally, he knew that there was nothing that he could have done to change things. However, emotionally, he could not help but blame himself for not being better in some way. He still had all of the "what if's" rolling through his mind whenever he had a moment's quiet.*

Resume recording. *beep*

I know that the death of a loved one changes you. However, I still don't know who I am. My friends, what ones I have left, keep telling me that I need to find a way to turn a corner, if for no one else's benefit but Sebina. She lost both a parent and a sibling that day. My actions, however well guided, are causing her to lose the only other family that she has left. I do realize this.

*he pauses for a moment and sighs softly*

Perhaps...perhaps I should use this new assignment as a way to try and rebuild my family, rebuild my life. I know that I will never be able to replace what we lost, but, perhaps I could find a way to build something new for Sebina and myself. She is what's most important to me now. Her happiness and safety are paramount. I will do whatever I must, sacrifice what I must, to lighten the burden that she is now carrying. As her father, what more can I do?

Computer, end log.

 

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