"What Happened?" Part 2

Posted on Mon Oct 31, 2016 @ 5:19am by Lieutenant JG Noelle Bennett M.D. & Lieutenant Liam Reynolds

2,906 words; about a 15 minute read

Mission: Things Past
Location: Lieutenant Reynolds' Quarters, Deep Space Five

There was no question all of what Liam shared was a lot to absorb, and as Noelle listened, she continued to be reminded of her obligation to maintain professional confidentiality, even as it seemed Liam was working very hard to convince Noelle he was in the right and everyone else was wrong. There was also no question Soran's behavior had been erratic because of the creature inside her head and much of what she'd done had become irrational and unrealistic.

In addition, what happened between Zandra and the Ferengi was a sensitive subject as far as Noelle was concerned, and she didn't necessarily believe there was nothing legally that could be done, nor did she think it was particularly wise to just shrug the incident off as it appeared Liam and Caleb wanted to do. Of course, Noelle was aware Caleb had his own motives for not wanting to push the issue beyond sparing his daughter the trauma of testifying, and frankly, it was dubious to her why Caleb had been allowed to be any part of the investigation into his daughter's victimization in the first place. She pressed the issue herself, but such challenges seemed to be minimized and it was still a source of great pain and anger for Noelle.

The notion that Zandra herself could elect to press charges or not in itself was an inaccurate statement. Just as it had been true for hundreds of years, the victim in any criminal proceeding was the government, not the individual, and while cases were certainly damaged when individuals refused to report and testify as to the crime, it certainly was an impossible to go forward with prosecution anyway using collateral evidence, as had been done in several cases throughout history. Noelle was of the opinion there was more than enough evidence to prove what had happened and she believed there were opportunities to get around diplomatic immunity given the circumstances, if only justice had been attempted. Bennett believed Zandy could be made strong enough to testify with just a little support, but unfortunately, Noelle believed Caleb had unfairly influenced his daughter for the sake of keeping his own secrets about the symbiont inside of her.

It sickened Noelle to think the young woman still believed nothing could be done regarding what happened to her in part, whether large or small, because she had "consented." As a therapist and physician, Noelle knew there was no such thing as consent as far as being a minor was concerned.

All of that swirled in Noelle's head as she considered how to answer. Now was her turn to be diplomatic. "I'm going to try very hard to separate being your chief counselor from being your friend," she added with a wry smile. "As you know, I can't speak to any ongoing medical or psychological developments concerning a member of the crew with anyone else unless it directly impacts the safety of said individual or the rest of the crew. What I can say is, all of your concerns are being looked into. As for what transpired between the Ferengi and Caleb Ryan's daughter, I know it put you in an awkward spot diplomatically and I know you have only been trying to uphold your professional obligations in your position as chief diplomat. I won't make any secret of the fact that as a physician and therapist, I see what happened between all parties very differently, but I don't blame you for taking the perspective you have or for trying to do what you think is best in your position."

Liam looked at Noelle with a somewhat disappointed look. “I apologise if you feel that I have protruded on your private emotions. Nor do I wish to place a burden on you having to try hard to separate being my chief counsellor and my friend. I did not go looking. I sensed that I upset you and sought to fix it with an apology yes but I also need you to understand that these 4 walls,” he indicated his quarters, “are my sanctuary. The only place I am not 100% obligated to continuously down play the other half of my biology. I have to downplay and ignore hundreds of thousands of emotions and “intent” of those emotions on a daily basis. I also have to put up with people fearing it. I do not wish to also have to impose that on my self in my own private space too. So if it is going to be a problem and I make you uncomfortable I suggest we move this to a professional space."

“I have not asked you to speak on any ongoing medical or psychological developments concerning a member of the crew. Nor have I asked to debate the chief and his daughter. You came here to understand how I ended up in the brig. I am explaining. There is more to it than just being in an “awkward spot” diplomatically and if you think my actions are solely about trying to do what's best for me in my position you are far from understanding me as a person, friend or colleague properly.”

"It seems you and I are misunderstanding each other today," Noelle replied evenly. "I have no doubt my emotions were easily picked up by you. I've made no secret of the turmoil the Soran and Zandra situation has created for me emotionally. I was just caught off guard when you read my feelings and then acted based on what you read. I've never had you do that with me before, at least to my knowledge, and I was just caught off guard. I tend to forget about your abilities, and frankly, I was still absorbing how your words made me feel when you offered your apology for them based on your reading of me. Still, I appreciate your apology. Intellectually, I know you would never intentionally hurt me by questioning my professional abilities, but as you can see, certain situations of late are sensitive spots for me as well," Bennett added honestly.

She went on to say, "I'm not saying you've asked me to divulge sensitive information about anyone because I know you would never do that. All I was trying to say was that as I was listening to you, as your friend, I feel a certain responsibility to respond to what you're saying in a supportive way, but at the same time, all I can think about is what I cannot say because of professional obligations. My reference to you being in an awkward spot while trying to do what you think is best was my attempt to show some degree of sympathy for what you're going through, but obviously, it wasn't taken that way, and I'm sorry if I've caused you more pain. I am listening and interested in the rest of what you have to say, if you are still willing to share."

“Certain things are sensitive spots for me too,” Liam stated. He knew what Noelle had said about his abilities was valid and true in her perception of the situation but if they were ever going to be friends it was something she needed to get comfortable with. He had spent half his life changing his behaviour to suit, appease and ensure other people were comfortable around him. Yet in reality, anyone who wanted to call themselves your friend should also be able to give the same courtesy and be able to accept you for who you are. He couldn’t have a big song and dance about it all the time like it felt now. There would be times he was on autopilot and not just thinking and there would be times he would deliberately speak up if he felt the situation needed dealing with in a bid to make the relationship smoother and promote understanding between them like he had just done.

“If we are going to be friends you need to be comfortable around me and my abilities,” he said simply.

"I am comfortable around you and I am getting comfortable around your abilities," Noelle replied honestly. "That said, it would help me to understand your views on maintaining the mental privacy of those you interact with. I was under the impression most people with psionic abilities generally don't make it a practice to read other people and then act on those readings without permission, especially in a casual social situation. I recognize some emotions are so glaring, you might not be able to help picking up on them, so I'm wondering, are there things I can do to make my emotions less disruptive for you? I mean, think of it this way. Just like you would like a place where you don't have to suppress who you are all the time, I would like a place where I don't have to worry about someone acting on my own emotions before I've even had an opportunity to make sense of them."

Liam was getting somewhat frustrated. “I didn’t read you without permission. You hit me with your emotion. I could argue that I did not give you permission to do that if we are going to get into and be so pedantic about this, but I don’t do that as I know you cannot control it. Any more than I could control sensing it just then. And no, there is nothing that says we have to ask permission every single time someone has an emotion in our presence to act on it. If there was anything like that in place do you think the Betaziod people would have joined and allied with the Federation in the first place? If people could not take us for who we were?

You see there is a whooping double standard. When it comes to things like the Second officer being possessed and I sense it and those emotions, I report it. I would be expected to do that. No issue about me not getting permission from Soran for sensing it there. I was even brought in and expected to use my abilities to locate and help neutralise it. I was literally beamed off my seat to do this. Again no issue around permission. I can be ordered to sense people so that understanding or an upper hand can be had. No qualms there are about getting permissions and acting on it and that's not just me involved in those circumstances. But when it comes down to it being them, suddenly they don’t like me doing what they are more than happy to order me or expect me to do and they get uncomfortable and annoyed at me. I am the bad guy for doing what is natural.

If you want to know my stance Noelle, I choose the majority of the time to ignore and not act on things. Sometimes I slip up, sometimes I deliberately make a choice to speak up and act on something. It depends on the relationship. I also do not speak up or get upset at people when they either deliberately - and some people can do that or inadvertently hit me with all their emotions especially the negative ones. Nasty ones such as anger, jealousy it can have a mental and physical effect on me. Anger hurts.

I did what I just did because I was under the impression we were working on a friendship. I realised I had said something that made me somewhat an arse and caused you some pain, so I sought to fix it. Perhaps I moved a little too fast. Wading through emotions my entire life I sometimes forget people do not process them as fast as I do. But that said I wouldn’t make that effect with just anyone either. I could just as easily have ignored that and let you keep feeling and thinking I thought you had done a bad job. But I didn’t. I tried to make it better and I’m the bad guy.

Look what I am not willing to do is be in a situation where I have to ask permission to be myself in my own space. You say you want a place where you don’t have to worry about someone acting on your emotions” – he pointed in the direction she had entered– “That’s anywhere outside that door. I have already offered once to move things so you can have that when you verbalised you were upset.”

Noelle was also getting frustrated, but because she had already hurt Liam, she was trying to hide it as much as that was possible. Nothing was going to keep Liam from sensing she was frustrated and then acting on it. She could only hope he also sensed as frustrated as she was, she was also determined to not hurt him and to hear him out. "I understand my emotions were strong and you couldn't help but pick up on them. That's why I genuinely asked you if there was something I could do to better control my emotions. I sincerely want to know," Bennett added, "because I do understand it's unfair of me to ask you not to act on my emotions when they appear to you like a glaring neon sign," she added with a wry smile.

Noelle went on to add, "I'm not saying you need to ask my permission before you read me. I guess I just thought it was common practice to separate reading people for on duty purposes because it's important to the advancement of our mission or to secure the safety of the ship and crew, and reading people, friends, in social situations. I do appreciate you saying you acted quickly. I guess that's all I'm trying to say. It's unnerving to have someone not only read what you're feeling before you've had an opportunity to process it yourself, but to then act on it. I can only describe it as unnerving. Still, I know you never intended any harm, and that you in fact were doing it in an effort to preserve our friendship. If it's all right with you, I'd like to leave things there. I really want to spend time with my friend Liam, and I think it's best to leave things on a note of agreement for now. Is that all right with you?"

Liam nodded. He felt terrible. He had pretty much gone on the offence and made the situation worse. And he was worried if he tried further to sooth the situation they might just end up going round in circles. He decided the best thing to do was to carry on telling her how he ended up in the brig.

Carrying on with his tale Liam said, “I am no way saying its right. That the Ferengi aid gets away with this situation with the Chiefs daughter under the guise of diplomatic immunity. But he does have diplomatic immunity which makes things sticky. Please understand that. I brought it to the security chief. It was his and his daughters call not to press charges. What I am saying is 1 – it’s not for a diplomat to extradite someone. That should be security. The second officer was just chewing me out and trying to punish or make an example of me because they did not agree with my attempting to smooth relations with the Ferengi for the bodged negotiations when the Fae came to the station and 2 - I was trying to find was a solution that did not end with the Grand Negus declaring war on the Federation. Because I went to speak with Qinee the Ferengi Ambassador, and she made it clear that would be the outcome if her aid was extradited under diplomatic immunity, with no formal charges against him. She viewed it as an agreement of services between the two. In Ferengi culture the chief’s daughter is not under age either. It’s a very sticky situation.

The thing is, there’s a bigger picture - we don’t want a war do we? And there are ways to hold people to account that might not be the way the second officer wants it to be. I was trying to find a different solution. One that also did not involve dragging that poor girl and the chief through a big public spectacle. I went to the second officer and asked her to rethink her order and explained what the Ferengi ambassador had said.”

"Of course we don't want a war," Noelle replied patiently, "and I do understand what you're saying about diplomatic immunity. Your hands as a diplomat were tied, and you shouldn't have been asked to do a security officer's job. That's not your role here. Your role is to do what you can to maintain diplomatic relationships, and what she was asking you to do would directly damage those relationships. On that score, we can agree," Noelle replied with a nod. "From a criminal investigation and criminal law standpoint, I believe mistakes were made and more could be done," Bennett added, "but that has nothing to do with the difficulty of the situation you were placed in."

"I know," he conceded. "So I tried to speak to Commander Soran again."

***

Lieutenant JG Noelle Bennett, M.D.
Chief Counselor
Deep Space Five

Lieutenant Liam Reynolds
Chief Diplomatic Officer
Deep Space Five

 

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